Mountain climbers have always fascinated me. The strength and skill required to do what they do is unbelievable. I read recently about climbers attempting to scale Everest a couple of years ago. There had been an avalanche, so the mountain had been closed to climbers for several weeks. When the mountain reopened there was a line of people eager to get their shot at the tallest mountain above sea level in the world. Tragically, three people died in as many days as the harsh temperatures and unforgiving altitudes were overpowering. The climbers weren’t prepared for how rigorous the mountain could be.

I believe that love is also more difficult than most people believe. To climb a mountain you have to be physically fit. You have to be trained in climbing. You need the right equipment. You need experience in freezing temperatures and low-oxygen environments. Even with all of that, it will still be one of the most grueling challenges anyone can face. To love someone well, you must also be trained. Whereas climbers must be physically developed. Those who wish to love others well, must have developed their character. There are character attributes that are essential to loving others that can only be developed over time. Patience for instance is critical to loving others well, and we all know that patience doesn’t develop overnight. Kindness, faithfulness, and self-control are only cultivated over time and with much practice.

Many of our breakdowns in love come when we believe that love makes us someone different than we were before. We think that we will be able to show consistent kindness to the RIGHT person, and that we’ll be patient when the love is true. Love does impact us in many ways, but it won’t magically supply us with character traits that can only developed over time.

All of this doesn’t mean it’s too late for a relationship you are currently in. You can always grow in terms of character development. It isn’t easy, or automatic, but it’s worth the effort. Instead of focusing on what your spouse or friend is doing, focus on you. Begin building those deep character traits that will serve you and your relationship well. Check back in to this series to learn more about how you can develop character traits that will enable you to love others in better ways.