“So, don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (Matthew 6:34, NLT)

Those words were spoken to an audience over 2000 years ago, they are still applicable today. Losing someone you love changes everything, and change is hard. It’s hard to imagine a future without that person. It’s easy to become consumed with not just the pain of the moment, but with the terror of not having that person there for key moments in the future. It’s crushing to think that Dad won’t be there to walk you down the aisle. When Mom was the one that made you do your homework, graduation without her isn’t a celebration any longer. I still get overwhelmed at times, holding my baby boy, when I realize that I’ll never get to hand him to my brother to hold. I would give anything to be able to call him for advice during this new stage of life. Jesus was right when he said that tomorrow will bring its own worries, and he was also right when he said that today’s troubles are enough for today.

So, the second thing I have learned about grief is: today is enough.

I can’t face all of the challenges of a future without my brother, and spending time thinking about it will only leave me depressed and discouraged. I can, however, face today. During the early parts of grieving, I found that even facing an entire day seemed overwhelming. During those times, I took an hour at a time, or committed to just focus on making it to dinner. You may be there as well. Be patient with yourself, take the day moment by moment. Stay out of the future as much as you can. You can’t afford to allow your mind to chase after a hundred different future challenges. It’s exhausting and steals the energy that you need for today.

Staying rooted in today is important as we talk to others as well. I never knew what to say when people asked me, “How are you doing?”. Even a simple question like that can be hard to answer.  Sometimes it’s because the answer is messy.

I’m angry, and I’m not sure why.

I’m barely holding it together, and talking about it will just make me lose it.

I’m just numb.

There are dozens of other possible answers because grief produces a wide range of emotions. Many times those emotions change hour by hour, or pile up on us, so that we aren’t really sure what we are feeling anymore.

I’ve found that the best answer to the question of how you are doing is, “today, I’m doing ok” or “today is hard”. Today is enough. You can’t reassess your future every time someone asks you a question, and you can’t open up all of the pain of the past several times every day. Yesterday is over, and we can deal with tomorrow when tomorrow comes. What you are feeling and facing right now is enough for today. And, I’ve found that God will give us enough strength to make it through today. Day by day, step by step healing seeps in. Your endurance will grow and your pain will decrease. So, start with today and leave the rest up to God.